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| The Work Of Setting Boundaries |

6/30/2022

We talk an awful lot about boundaries as a culture.  It qualifies, in every way, as a buzzword.  Boundaries in work, boundaries with friends, boundaries to guard your peace. 

Sure… sounds simple.

Make a new rule about not checking Instagram first thing in the morning.  Don’t overspend.  Only have drinks with friends if it’s on the weekends.  These are our new rules we are imposing on ourselves that are supposed to change our lives, right?

Maybe not. 

We all wear a lot of hats.  We are being pulled in different directions from work, family, friends, needing time for self care, and wanting time for hobbies.  How many of us are trying to juggle {modeling, photography, creating, building our empire} on top of a full time job, on top of wanting to be home and present for your partner or children?  We would venture to say that’s all of us. 

If anything you read here sticks, let it be this one thing: 

We can’t show up for anyone if we can’t show up for ourselves.

Point blank; If we don't protect our minds and bodies, then we are not going to sustain our mental health. 

How do we protect our minds and bodies?  We do things that enhance our mental health and we promote our physical safety and well being.


| Enter Boundaries |

Figuring out what your boundaries are takes work.  There is a lot of time spent looking inward to see what is good for you, and what isn't.

This is different from saying to yourself 'you really need to limit your screen time', or 'cut carbs after a certain time'. 

Before we can start setting boundaries… really setting boundaries… We need to do two things:

• Know our worth, and
• Trust ourselves

In spite of what you might think, this is a process. 

| Trusting Ourselves |

We all have an inner voice that tries to guide us.  It’s that slight tinge we feel when we know we are uncomfortable and should avoid or escape a situation.  Likewise, it’s that fleeting moment of excitement that can spark creativity or a new positive endeavor.  Sometimes these feelings are so small, they’re easy to miss, but tapping into them is the key to knowing what is good for you, and what is not.

Here’s an example:

A model is shooting with a new photographer.  The model is alone, and the photographer starts making comments about the model’s body, saying things like “you’re so sexy,” and “your body is incredible, I’d like to shoot more of it for a side project I’m working on.”  The model feels a tinge of discomfort. 

If you are on a shoot and feel any discomfort or fear for your safety, IT IS OK TO LEAVE. However, the unfortunate truth of the situation is that, sometimes we ignore the little voice in our heads that says, 'Hey, I don’t like this'.

Why do we do that?  Why do we talk ourselves out of what we feel?  We counter our inner voice with rationales like:

• 'It’s harmless banter.'
• 'They are popular and well connected. I can just ignore them.'
• 'I have to stay and finish the shoot or I won’t succeed in my career.'

At MAAC, we encourage you to take time to know your body and the way it responds to discomfort or enthusiasm.

If your body says no, LISTEN to it and step back.

If your inner voice is enthused, GO FOR IT!

Take caution or take risks accordingly, but most of all, get to a place where you know what these things feel like.

| Knowing Our Worth |

When we value something, say, an expensive designer garment, we tend to take better care of it than the $7 shirt we thrifted.  It is the same within ourselves.  When we know our worth, and value who we are, we take better care to protect our minds and bodies.  To some of us, this comes easily, but others might have to fight negative self talk that tells us we aren’t good enough, or, {literally anything} enough.

Ask yourself:  How can I turn inward and find the things about myself that I value?

MAAC believes we all have an intrinsic value, and we encourage you to stand tall in your unique personhood.

No matter who you are, you are priceless and deserve respect, safety, and dignity.

| Setting Boundaries |

It is listening to that inner-voice and acting accordingly, then, remembering how to either avoid the bad, or promote the good. It means taking the time to do the work.  That work is standing so tall in our self-respect that we take extra care to protect ourselves.  That work is tuning into our bodies so we can clearly feel when we perceive a threat or a joy, and act accordingly. 

Be on the lookout for self-care tips and affirmations from MAAC that can help you in doing this incredibly important work of identifying boundaries.

| TL;DR |

No Matter Who You Are, You Are Priceless and Deserve Respect, Safety, and Dignity.

Full Stop.

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